Becoming my Daddy’s Keeper

PART ONE: The Upheaval 

Time check: 23:11

A new patient with a nasogastric tube, escorted by eight relatives is wheeled in. They seem to be in a state of shock similar to what I was in the previous day. Only difference is the tube that my patient did not have. This evening it was just us in the emergency ward. The reality of how strong I am hits me, eight against one! It’s just I and him. A ‘girl’ and her ‘daddy’. 

I offer a word of comfort to the relatives of the new ‘companion’. 

‘’Everyone we found in here got better and left. It’s just us.’’ I console. 

One of them smiles. The others are too shocked to smile. Their eyes are hooked on the semi-conscious patient. They all want to be in the room with the patient, but its crowded, and an emergency ward. The Doctor calmly reminds them about the ‘’1 patient, No Visitor rule’’, to which they reluctantly leave for the corridor.

The beep of the Electronic vital sign monitor has become more of a melody to my ears. It reminds me that despite it all, there’s still life in the room. The friendly doctor comes back briefly to thank me for taking care of my daddy and assures me that he will be fine.

Today has been much better for us. He can talk, use the toilet and eat without help. The funniest bit is the sort of disconnected conversations he makes with his favorite chitty chatty nurse while she administers medicine at given intervals. Besides, it’s less crowded, there’s less agonies and lesser rounds of nurses and doctors.

‘’Is all that medicine for me? Why is that needle as big as the one they use to inject the cattle?’’ This makes us burst into laughter. I feel the atmosphere more relaxed, calm and hopeful. He is once again more like his former self, though still being monitored 24/7. 

He is still quite amused at how he ended up in the hospital, looks at his shoes and laughs aloud. ‘’Why did I put on these funny shoes to hospital?’’ Can he even remember how, or when he came here? I was yearning for a single word yesterday, and here I am bombarded with chains of chats.

Yesterday was quite overwhelming that I hid in the bathroom to cry a bit. I did question how we ended up here. However, being the strong daughter, he raised, I remembered that I am the candle that has to flicker without burning out. And "when life slows down, slow down and think clearly." He is strong when I am strong for him…his Keeper…

 

PART TWO: Girl/ Woman, Boy/Man- Does it matter?

"You need to get a male caretaker," advises a young female nurse.

"I don't have one at the moment. I will take care of him." I respond.

I understand that she feels he is too much for me. Having to lift him from the wheelchair to the bed, and back, countless times as his restless mind can't let him settle in one place. 

Why should it be a male caretaker?  Can't a daughter take care of her Daddy? So many times, I have heard statements like "because she is female", "So she's a girl?", "You are young" or something like that. 

This reminded me of my school days. The Academic Giants were always expected to be male, and there I always was, a female giant among the male. When it came to work, as a "junior class teacher" at one of the prominent schools in Wakiso, parents were always surprised to be presented with a 'girl' for a class teacher.

Upon hiking like about 4 km to a hard-to-reach school, the school community and teachers would be surprised at how a Muganda lady had made it to their school on foot for about two hours. Many refused to believe I was from the Central Region. 

I have always been curious about my name that has a male version of Ntege Joseph.  So, I asked Daddy one day if he had wanted me to be the son he desired. 

" No, I wanted unique names for you. Nantege because no one in the clan had it, Josephine because you were born on the special day of Joseph the worker (Labour Day) and Gladys because I wanted you to have a third name and be different from any another that could have a similar name..."

I am pulled back from my daydream by the entry of yet another nurse on day shift.

" You have never introduced us to the caretakers, who is the lady who was here the previous night? asks a nurse to check his progress.

"What's her name?" he asks me.

"It's you to tell us, "Interjects the nurse.

" I can't tell. I have so many daughters. " He answers back with a wide grin.

So, tell me, girl/boy man/ Woman, does it matter? I feel it doesn't as long as we, his daughters, are there for him, and he is there for us. Always his Keeper.

PART THREE: Him who brings on all the Joy

And 7 months down the road,

He's alive and kicking 

For,

Deep in his wandering he heard our call

He heard our prayers besides his bed

He heard our most felt pleas

To come back fully to us

And he fought on for us

No one fights for another, 

The "battle field" is fully individual

"It felt more like a dream"

And in his "dream" he saw us all

His daughters and grandchildren,

Fighting for him as he slipt away...

But one thing kept him afloat,

US.

And he came back to us

To accomplish what no one would ever 

Accomplish for us

To be our keeper...

To make us stronger...

It is a second chance like never before...

And each day is blissful...

Being each others' Keeper

❤❤❤❤